Perlustration n. - The act of viewing all over.

Being

2012-01-12T10:21:00.000-08:00

“Being” is a new state of awareness I have begun to develop.
The very action of giving a descriptive word to a way of living
may be misleading.
However, this “be” state is simply a way of beginning to explain
my philosophy of senselessness.
“Being” is a word without concrete meaning attached,
Although most words probably are the same way.
So there are no limitations,
Expectations, etc. in a state of “be.”
There is unlimited awareness.
A state not describable by any words.
It’s sweating at a laundromat,
The lonely walks around the streets of Boca,
The children playing at the beach.
It is me, it is you, it is everything, it is nothing.
I act by just being.
I have no need for the past nor the future.
I have no need for identity.
I am as I am; I will be as I be
Whether I like it or not.
My thoughts, hobbies and possessions are not truly me.
There is no “me.”
There is only “be.”
This “be” is the surrender of belonging to this universe.
To looking up not at stars or suns
But to the energy of something vastly familiar
with no need for exploration or questioning.
This body is dead; this soul is alive.
This energy of being.
So here I am or here I am not.
Anything I say would really work either way.
It’s about this beauty of purposelessness.
This experiencing not for gain – never for gain.
Maybe for growth like a circular vine,
Not really getting anywhere once you realize you’re looking.

Tanya Orme

This really speaks to me, as it explains so much of how I feel. I am not good with words so I thought I would share. I do hope you enjoy as well.

Epiphanies Worth Sharing

2011-08-17T10:24:00.000-07:00

1. You are not your mind.

The first time I heard somebody say that, I didn’t like the sound of it one bit. What else could I be? I had taken for granted that the mental chatter in my head was the central “me” that all the experiences in my life were happening to.

I see quite clearly now that life is nothing but passing experiences, and my thoughts are just one more category of things I experience. Thoughts are no more fundamental than smells, sights and sounds. Like any experience, they arise in my awareness, they have a certain texture, and then they give way to something else.

If you can observe your thoughts just like you can observe other objects, who's doing the observing? Don’t answer too quickly. This question, and its unspeakable answer, are at the center of all the great religions and spiritual traditions.

2. Life unfolds only in moments.

Of course! I once called this the most important thing I ever learned. Nobody has ever experienced anything that wasn’t part of a single moment unfolding. That means life’s only challenge is dealing with the single moment you are having right now. Before I recognized this, I was constantly trying to solve my entire life — battling problems that weren’t actually happening. Anyone can summon the resolve to deal with a single, present moment, as long as they are truly aware that it’s their only point of contact with life, and therefore there is nothing else one can do that can possibly be useful. Nobody can deal with the past or future, because, both only exist as thoughts, in the present. But we can kill ourselves trying.

3. Quality of life is determined by how you deal with your moments, not which moments happen and which don’t.

I now consider this truth to be Happiness 101, but it’s amazing how tempting it still is to grasp at control of every circumstance to try to make sure I get exactly what I want. To encounter an undesirable situation and work with it willingly is the mark of a wise and happy person. Imagine getting a flat tire, falling ill at a bad time, or knocking something over and breaking it — and suffering nothing from it. There is nothing to fear if you agree with yourself to deal willingly with adversity whenever it does show up. That is how to make life better. The typical, low-leverage method is to hope that you eventually accumulate power over your circumstances so that you can get what you want more often. There’s an excellent line in a Modest Mouse song, celebrating this side-effect of wisdom: As life gets longer, awful feels softer.

4. Most of life is imaginary.

Human beings have a habit of compulsive thinking that is so pervasive that we lose sight of the fact that we are nearly always thinking. Most of what we interact with is not the world itself, but our beliefs about it, our expectations of it, and our personal interests in it. We have a very difficult time observing something without confusing it with the thoughts we have about it, and so the bulk of what we experience in life is imaginary things . As Mark Twain said: “I’ve been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” The best treatment I’ve found? Cultivating mindfulness.

5. Human beings have evolved to suffer, and we are better at suffering than anything else.

Yikes. It doesn’t sound like a very liberating discovery. I used to believe that if I was suffering it meant that there was something wrong with me — that I was doing life “wrong.” Suffering is completely human and completely normal, and there is a very good reason for its existence. Life’s persistent background hum of “this isn’t quite okay, I need to improve this,” coupled with occasional intense flashes of horror and adrenaline are what kept human beings alive for millions of years. This urge to change or escape the present moment drives nearly all of our behavior. It’s a simple and ruthless survival mechanism which works exceedingly well for keeping us alive, but it has a horrific side effect: human beings suffer greatly by their very nature. This, for me, redefined every one of life’s problems as some tendril of the human condition. As grim as it sounds, this insight is liberating because it means: 1) that suffering does not necessarily mean my life is going wrong, 2) that the ball is always in my court, so the degree to which I suffer is ultimately up to me, and 3) that all problems have the same cause and the same solution.

6. Emotions exist to make us biased.

This discovery was a complete 180 from my old understanding of emotions. I used to think my emotions were reliable indicators of the state of my life — of whether I’m on the right track or not. Your passing emotional states can’t be trusted for measuring your self-worth or your position in life, but they are great at teaching you what it is you can’t let go of. The trouble is that emotions make us both more biased and more forceful at the same time. Another survival mechanism with nasty side-effects.

7. All people operate from the same two motivations: to fulfill their desires and to escape their suffering.

Learning this allowed me to finally make sense of how people can hurt each other so badly. The best explanation I had before this was that some people are just bad. What a cop-out. No matter what kind of behavior other people exhibit, they are acting in the most effective way they are capable of (at that moment) to fulfill a desire or to relieve their suffering. These are motives we can all understand; we only vary in method, and the methods each of us has at our disposal depend on our upbringing and our experiences in life, as well as our state of consciousness. Some methods are skillful and helpful to others, others are unskillful and destructive, and almost all destructive behavior is unconscious. So there is no good and evil , only smart and dumb (or wise and foolish.) Understanding this completely shook my long-held notions of morality and justice.

8. Beliefs are nothing to be proud of.

Believing something is not an accomplishment. I grew up thinking that beliefs are something to be proud of, but they’re really nothing but opinions one refuses to reconsider. Beliefs are easy. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because “strength of belief” is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you’ve made it a part of your ego. Listen to any “die-hard” conservative or liberal talk about their deepest beliefs and you are listening to somebody who will never hear what you say on any matter that matters to them — unless you believe the same. It is gratifying to speak forcefully, it is gratifying to be agreed with, and this high is what the die-hards are chasing. Wherever there is a belief, there is a closed door. Take on the beliefs that stand up to your most honest, humble scrutiny, and never be afraid to lose them.

9. Objectivity is subjective.

Life is a subjective experience and that cannot be escaped. Every experience I have comes through my own, personal, unsharable viewpoint. There can be no peer reviews of my direct experience, no real corroboration. This has some major implications for how I live my life. The most immediate one is that I realize I must trust my own personal experience, because nobody else has this angle, and I only have this angle. Another is that I feel more wonder for the world around me, knowing that any “objective” understanding I claim to have of the world is built entirely from scratch, by me. What I do build depends on the books I’ve read, the people I’ve met, and the experiences I’ve had. It means I will never see the world quite like anyone else, which means I will never live in quite the same world as anyone else — and therefore I mustn’t let outside observers be the authority on who I am or what life is really like for me. Subjectivity is primary experience — it is real life, and objectivity is something each of us builds on top of it in our minds, privately, in order to explain it all. This truth has world-shattering implications for the roles of religion and science in the lives of those who grasp it.

I speak best in images....

2011-06-29T19:12:00.000-07:00

I complied some images into a collage that represented some aspects of myself, just a fun lil project :)

Mothers Day Decadence

2011-05-08T17:14:00.000-07:00

Day:1( Placed inside a pan right before I was making dinner.)
"Thank you for being there EVERYTIME I needed someone to talk to."

Day:2 (Placed on my dashboard so I would see when I went to work.)

" Thank you for forgiving me every time I've upset you. And I'm sorry."

Day:3 (Placed in the sink before I brushed my teeth at night.)
"Thank you for being protective & always making sure I'm safe."

Day:4 (Put in the fence so I would find when I came home from work.)
"Thank you for arguing back when I tell you I love you more."

Day:5 ( On my bed before bedtime.)
"Thank you for not being afraid to be silly & express yourself."

Day:6 (Inside my camera bag before I went on a shoot.)

"Thank you for working so hard to make sure our family has everything we need."

Day:7 (Hand delivered by the angel herself.)

Everyday, exactly a week before Mothers Day my sweet teenage baby-girl left me these love notes in random places at random times. I must say it is the most thoughtful Mothers Day I have experienced yet!

Responding to the Death of Bin Laden

2011-05-02T04:44:00.000-07:00

I have seen a huge out pouring of celebration and joy from countless people across Facebook, Twitter, and outside the White House on the news. It rivals the cheering for a Super Bowl or World Series victory celebration. Something about this carnival like atmosphere gives me a certain discomfort and leaves me puzzled.

There are two reasons for my reaction. The first is, I wonder what the response is of the family members of the 2,977 people who were killed by Bin Laden’s followers. I just don’t picture them dancing in celebration and toasting with free beers on the house. The death of Bin Laden is sure to bring back the pain and loss that his heinous actions forced on people. I suspect that for many if not most of those surviving family members, there is a satisfaction, a sense of finality. There is certainly a feeling of a weight being lifted. But joyous, raucous celebration simply doesn’t fit when you have lost a loved one to a murderer. You can’t rejoice. You can give thanks. You take a deep breath. You whisper to those you lost, “rest in peace, we never forgot you. We miss you. We love you.”

My second thought goes to the Lord. How does God want me to react to the death of Bin Laden? I am reminded of Proverbs 24:17-18 Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles; Lest the LORD see it, and it displease Him. I find those words to be about as disconcerting as anything God has said. Part of me wants to rejoice and celebrate. But I have to ask, why does God not want me to rejoice and celebrate when my enemy stumbles and falls? I think that in part is has to do with guarding my heart. To celebrate the fall of my enemy is to put myself in a place where my pride and arrogance can easily overtake me. I must never forget that I was God’s enemy before coming to faith in Christ. Instead of rejoicing over my stumbling and fallen sinfulness, God went to the Cross though Jesus Christ and died for me. God did not rejoice over my fall, but instead suffered on my behalf.

Don’t get me wrong. I am glad that justice has been served. I find a certain peace and satisfaction that Bin Laden is dead. But you will not find me out cheering and celebrating and dancing. Instead, I think I will be praying for the families who lost those they love that they may find some measure of peace.

The Message

2011-04-20T04:44:00.000-07:00

You may have already read this. It doesn't hurt to read it again. What a wonderful reminder.

The paradox of time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways but narrower viewpoints. We spend more but have less. We buy more but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families. More convenience but less time. We have more degrees but less sense. More knowledge but less judgment. More experts, yet more problems. More medicine but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things but not better things. We've cleaned up the air but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom but not our prejudice. We write more but learn less. We plan more but accomplish less. We've learned to rush but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce; fancier houses but broken homes. These are the days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet to kill. It is a time where there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you and a time when you can choose either to share this insight or to just hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person will soon grow up and leave your side. Remember to give a warm hug to the one next to you because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember to say "I love you" to your partner and loved ones but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love. Give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. And always remember: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.

My Queen...

2011-03-17T09:50:00.000-07:00

Just a little tribute to my biggest inspiration in my life...You know how often do we tell the people in our lives that inspire us that they do so?? A few weeks ago I received an email from a young woman (whom I have met once.... thru a car window).... She told me that I inspired her..DEEPLY..Wow! Now she didn't have to tell me that....I have absolutely no contact with her thru any form of social networking, have never had a conversation with her on any personal level, yet she took the time out of her day for someone she doesn't know to tell them that. It made me think of all the people in my life that I should have told the very same thing, and how I will never pass up the opportunity again, or make the opportunity that is! So not that she doesn't already know..But maybe it's cliche to say my daughter is my BIGGEST, most rewarding inspiration but..it is what it is :) SOOOO go tell that person out there that inspires you that they do! It will most certainly make their day and you will be glad you did....

The Third Eye

2011-02-02T04:29:00.000-08:00

OK it has been exactly a month since I posted last....I'm slacking. My photo journal really takes up half of my free time, the other half, well I dunno what I do with the other half...Probably cleaning or organizing something. The house never seems to be done. Umpf. Life I suppose. Or is it? I do like to read blogs quite often..ahhh thats what I do with my other free time! Anyhow I came across this quote/saying and it really touched home for me, as I said almost this exact thing to my daughter not a week ago, however this particular placement of words was musical to me.

"all matter is merely energy
condensed to a slow vibration.
we are all one consciousness
experiencing itself subjectively.
there is no such thing as death,
life is only a dream,
and we are the imagination of
ourselves."

I still get shivers when I read it...... Think about it, deeply. :)

Attempt.

2011-01-02T14:42:00.000-08:00

This photo is actually part of my 365 picture a day set. titled Despite Myself. It poses a question that we all should ask ourselves....."What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?" Hmmm. I have many answers and yet I am the only person holding me back. Really, I think I would attempt more if I had more time to dedicate to all the things I would like to attempt....Or then again would I just procrastinate because I knew I had more time...? Damn questions.....Well it's the beginning of a new year, and my resolution is to have no resolutions, other than doing more of the things I love. No pressure, no feeling of failure if I can't abide. I have simply made a list of projects I want to do by the end if the year and or things I wish to acquire. It is short. Things like paint the mail-box and flower-box...red of course :) and some kitchen rugs....simple enough. Just finding the time really. I don't want to sound obnoxious by saying I feel my life is at the place it should be and I couldn't ask for more. But, it is. So there's me being obnoxious. Now If only asking for that raise I so rightfully work hard for and deserve was on that list of things I could do and would not fail......but who am I kidding we can't even get hot water in our bathroom.

My face..........is sick.

2010-12-17T21:53:00.000-08:00

I will first start off by saying, I will not normally blog about something so disgusting. But this has been my life for the last week...... If anything I suppose it can be educational and serve as a warning or precaution so to speak. This all started on Monday morning. I awoke to get ready for work, creep into the bathroom and gaze at my self in the mirror to see what I had to offer the world on this fine day. I take a close look and I see what appears to be acne or a bite of some sort on my jaw line. I lean in for a closer look and see two puncture wounds........ it dawns on me I have been bitten by a spider.....awesome. Really. On my face. Seriously. Yippee. I feel it and examine of course and see that there is a hard cyst like development under the skin....yuck. I will just leave it alone and wear my hair down today and cover it up with some concealer. Woman's best friend right? Well one of them :) Anyhooo. I go about my day, mention it to some co-workers and kinda blow it off. Get home, eat, shower, normal face routine...it's still there yup. No different, doesn't hurt..mmkay, I can deal. Tuesday morning, OK, my face is considerably swollen....I actually look like I have a square jawline on the right side of my face,like I have jowls, I'm half bulldog half woman......hmmm, its fevered a bit....I take some ibuprofen and rub some Bactrin on it. Go to work... while there, seriously my face itches so bad I could claw myself to death...I had to wear my hair up...because if a hair dare touch the side of my face it would loose permanent residency on my head. Which in all honesty I did pull two stragglers out because they kept touching me. I'm getting a lil worried..I'm doing alot of research and find that it sounds like the bite of a jumping spider, Itchy, fevered and swollen like cyst, although not poisonous, the bite still requires some clinical measures. Which I followed. I clean, clean, clean and sanitize my face, peroxide, antibiotic creams all the typical procedures specified for this type of bite, whew...bedtime...Wednesday I'm awoken at 1:30 am to an excruciating pain coming out of my face and neck ..I feel like I am a million years old..am I dying? I make it to the bathroom and this thing is growing...I think it has its own heartbeat. Oh my god, did a Spider lay eggs in my face!!!! I am thinking so many crazy things at this point....I clean clean clean it again, band-aid it, more acetaminophen and dammit I need to sleep I have to work in a few hours..Now Thursday pretty much went the same, I'm not sure how I went to work and kept a smile on my...swollen, pain filled face..But I did...Thursday night however, I was more exhausted more irritable. I snapped at my husband and refused dinner and sat with my face in the tub for about 45min in desperate hopes for some relief....I shoved a grilled cheese down and went to bed..again...but not for long....Midnight, same pain...but more severe. I'm looking at this growth on my face and feeling it and I said I have to get out whatever it is that's in there...this is what causing my pain...Now even though its not oozing, just hard cyst like mass with two pin holes....I decide to perform my own surgery... No biggy, When I was a teenager I pierced my own nose, lip, eyebrow, bellybutton, ear ...I can certainly poke another hole in my face. Right. So, I get the necessary tools, tweezers, pin, lighter, peroxide, tissues, polysorbin and some confidence. I'm poking now and ouch that friggin hurts, I make a hole finally and it's time to apply some pressure... I'm scared. I would like to tell you that something pretty like glittery Lisa Frank stickers was he next thing I saw..But no.To the point...at least a tablespoon of puss came out of my face. Immediately I realize the pain is gone, the swelling is gone....and now Im left with a gaping hole in my jawline, which goes to the bone. I go to my husband who is in his office and show him my handy work and he is like Holy S*@$! But I assure him I feel better and I just need to rest and that my face was a bit sore. I email my Manager to let her know I am not coming in, and a run down of the situation. MY FIRST SICK DAY IN YEARS....I still feel guilty for taking it, even with my flesh exposed..........My sweet husband takes our daughter to school the next morning and I manage to sleep until 10am. This picture was taken Friday afternoon approximately 12 hours after my mini surgery so It has closed up considerably. Now time for some Mederma and Lots of Vitamin E and Big hopes the scar isn't hideous. Of all of this I am SO grateful that it wasn't my daughter that had to endure this and the realization that this could have been much worse. People loose fingers and limbs because of spider bites. I guess I get to keep my face after all...well most of it anyways :)

My Karma ate your Dogma

2010-12-13T06:14:00.000-08:00

Since this is now become my sounding board, I wanted to share my top seven favorite things that feed my well-being...by my own doing. I was inspired today to compile this list because of a love letter I received from my astonishingly sweetness of a daughter, I so proudly claim. I simply wanted to share the chicken soup for "MY" soul. Just some feel good stuff that I hope you can benefit from as well and if not, well..thanks for stopping by anyway :)

1. Mixing Hot Chocolate and Coffee together. -My mom would do this for me when I was younger and it was such a treat. 20 something years later I still love it and make it for my daughter.

2. Watching Extreme Makeover. -No lie I cry my face off every time I watch it. Seriously, hand me a box of tissues and a volunteer who will hold my hand. It makes me feel so over joyed to see a family in need receive such blessings. I must say Ty Pennington's voice is def not music to my ears, but Its a small annoyance I can overlook :)

3. AFV- This is a week night ritual in my home! 7 o'clock every evening at dinner we all watch Americas Funny Videos. What better way to end the day with laughing together as a family. Erasing any memory of the days woes. Good for the soul & good for the gut! :)

4. A fantastic makeup product- I must say I have been using the same mascara from Lo'real for 13 years. I decided, OK time to try something new...times are'a changin...Surely technology has caught up with the dire needs of my now so non-existent lashes. I was elated to find on my first venture that Maybelline's new FALSIES mascara is phenomenal, the erratic teddy bear brush really does a great job. I give it an A+....

5. Cute overload- 'If your happy and you know it clap your hands"(clap, CLAP) www.cuteoverload.com/ is a sure way if your feeling the blues to make you "ooh" "awe" and say "HOW CUTE" for sure. Great for the lil tykes and sure to find the to the soft spot of any man! Note: For animal lovers...and if your not an animal lover, well then this dose of cuteness may very well change your mind..atleast I hope so...otherwise your heart is just tiny,cold,black and ermmm full of puss..Eww

6. Take a trip......to your backyard!- Grab your camera and take 30 minuets or so to look closely at the nature around you! There are so many living things hiding everywhere! Now with insects it can be quite a feat capturing an image, but I have found I become so involved, it almost becomes a game and a scavenger hunt so to speak. Its a moment in time where I feel I'm getting in touch with Mother Nature, she has so much to offer that we often miss out on amidst our busy daily lives.

7. Giving a compliment...AND REALLY MEANING IT!!!- Who doesn't like compliments? I can happily say today I have given 3 compliments t0 3 different people today and it's not even noon! It's really a great feeling to make someone feel proud and or thought of when they know you have taken the time to notice something about them (this may seem so simple and you may be saying ..well der...however, try making it consciously a part of your everyday ritual)

When the lights came on.

2010-12-12T07:25:00.000-08:00

As I sit here drinking my Sunday morning cup of coffee, and tell myself to keep my promise to write at least once a week ( a goal I made over a year and a half ago) hence why I started to blog, mostly due to the inspiration of my sister, whom inspired so much of who I am today....Does she know this? I know I have told her, but I don't think she knows the depth of it. Well shes amazing! I have so many thoughts and I'm no good at writing them, not in a way anyhow that would be entertaining to the masses. But as with anything I will practice. The last 24 months of life has gone by so fast, with "SO" many changes. I have lost 3 people very dear to me due to cancer. Went thru a divorce, grew apart from many friends and family members, reunited with a former boyfriend, which is now my Husband, had 2 weddings, moved, became closer to God, watched my mother struggle with the loss of her husband, all the while trying to be a level headed mother of a teenager and all that comes with that, keeping my vision alive for my love of photography, and well there are a million other things I could add to this such as just trying to keep up on the laundry......I am not writing these things for sympathy by any means. I am grateful I have been able to feel all of these emotions as overwhelming as they may all be. Granted I was a smorgasbord of misunderstood proportions for awhile...Because of these things, I realized finally what it is that defines me. What it is that's really important. Now, I can't necessarily explain it. It's more of my inner monologue, but hey, it all makes sense to me.....Moreover and all in all because of these things, I have learned "IT'S OK" ....It's OK that I'm not the best mother, It's OK I'm not the best friend, It's OK that I have made mistakes, It's OK that I procrastinate on things I promise myself, it's OK to say goodbye, it's OK if this person or that person doesn't care for who I am, and it's just all OK! Things fall into their place. Because of a force bigger than anyone of us, and I am comforted by that...Do I miss some of the things that I no longer have within my grasp? Hell Yes. But ya know what, that's OK too.

That Warm, Fuzzy Feeling....

2010-12-06T04:14:00.001-08:00

This shot is one of my favorites from a shoot this weekend. A dear friend of mine had her son "Harrison" and she gave me the honor of photographing him at seven days old. Harrison is named after one of the Beatles..I'm sure you can figure out which one :) My friend loves the Beatles, and you may not notice..only if your over analytical like me...that she has a few books on the shelf about the Beatles, so we thought it would be a cute correlation! Never fear, Mom was cm from being in the frame just in case baby Harrison would decide to squirm! Now it's not everyday you get to cuddle with a week old blessing. He is such a cuddle bear! Holding him for the good 20 minutes I did as he just blissfully slept, I couldn't help but reminisce about the days 15 years ago when my daughter was as tiny and full of wonder. It all happens so fast. Its almost not fair. One day your placing them on a book shelf for pictures, and the next inside of a car teaching them how to drive....I think I may be getting a baby bug......"Honey"

Second Chances

2010-11-27T04:28:00.000-08:00

I just want to take a moment today to thank God for second chances. For so many things. But especially today for giving me a second chance to share to my life with my husband.

Release

2010-09-03T04:50:00.000-07:00

Its funny how we stared so long in to the distance when Viridian let these go. We watched until they turned into tiny black dots floating in the atmosphere. It made me think of how we do this with other things in our life that we let go of....watching and seeing its transformation in so many forms until its non existent. Family members, Friends, projects, promises. It brought me to a quote that holds true for me in so many aspects of my life. "All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on." Im sure you can find a place where it fits in for you.

Freshman

2010-08-24T04:31:00.000-07:00

Today was a milestone...My daughter Kayla started her freshman year in High school. I told myself "this will be easy, why on earth would I get emotional" But when I saw her step on to that bus, it was like the first time all over again, but this time she is stepping on it as a young adult. Soooo needless to say I choked up a bit and the eyes welled with the warmth of being proud, not only for her, but myself. YES! we made it! I know all parents are proud of their children, and we should be. In a sense we are raising ourselves and learning right along with them. When they ace a Geometry test its like we made the A also. Kayla has always excelled in academics, she is taking Algebra II Honors, Biology Honors, English/Literature Honors, Advanced Geography, Introduction to Information Technology and Aerobics. I think I may be able to help her with aerobics! Well this was my time to boast, and hey this is my blog to boast!

I am a proud mother, a protective mother, a loving and open mother. I realize the blessing that I have and that all of us have as parents. Don't skip over these moments as if they happen everyday......